200+ Funny Facebook Status/Quotes/Posts in 2024

Discover over 200 funny Facebook status messages that are sure to attract more comments on your profile. This collection not only includes hilarious status updates but also features amusing Facebook posts and quotes.

The best part is we developed a free Facebook status/quotes/posts creator with AI. 

Are you fascinated by your friend’s Facebook statuses and worried about how you could impress them? It is nothing to worry about because there are various ways through which you can also compel them to like your Facebook status.

You must have heard from your parents that they used humor as a tool to keep themselves different from anyone else and make the situation hilarious with funny jokes. Since there were no such platforms as Facebook, Twitter, and so forth, people shared a joke to bring smiles to their friend’s faces.

What do you want to create?

Read Also: Funny Wi-Fi Names for your home wireless network

Funny Facebook Status in 2024

  1. I just printed on a Wireless Printer, but I am not sure which neighbor has my document.
  2. The easiest way to double your money is to fold it over.
  3. Facebook funny status: Tomato is a fruit, so do not put it in a fruit salad.
  4. Two things are common in politicians and diapers; both need to change regularly.
  5. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house earlier than the Police do.
  6. You can go wherever you want if you carry a clipboard.
  7. ‘Hold my purse’, words to humiliate men everywhere.
  8. Don’t argue with an idiot. They beat you with their experience.
Funny Facebook Status
  1. My pillow could be my hairstylist because I wake up to weird hairstyles.
  2. People write Congrats on my wall because they do not know the spelling of Congratulations.
  3. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
  4. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  5. My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.
  6. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads.
  7. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  8. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  9. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.
  10. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so near to Monday?
  11. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
  12. I childproofed my house, but they still get in.
  13. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.’
  14. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  15. The trouble with being punctual is that no one cares.
  16. Marriage is similar to going to a restaurant, ordering something, and then looking at the nearby table, and wishing you would order that.
  17. If you get difficult questions in life, Google gives you answers.
  18. Money cannot buy happiness. It pays for the internet, which is the same thing.
  19. FACEBOOK STORY is to add the friend – Approve -> Write on the wall -Chatting– Block.
  20. Get ready to be in prison for stealing my heart and hijacking my feelings.
  21. If you are reading this, be happy you know how to read.
  22. Facebook is a fridge. Yes, because when you are alone, you open it to see if there’s anything.
  23. You know what; the zoo is the best place to fart.
  24. I am not 40 years old; I am just 18 years with 22 years of experience.
  25. When somebody is doing dishes, I put another plate on the sink.
  26. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
  27. Doctors checked out a boy’s brain; on the left side, nothing was right; and on the right side, nothing was left.
  28. Reduce weight, first turn your head to the left, then turn it to the right. Repeat this until you get anything to eat from either of the sides.
  29. Distinguish a lady and a woman? A lady does what she has been taught, and a woman does what she wants.
  30. I am jealous of my parents. I can never have a kid as cool as theirs.
  31. Can I click on your picture? I love pictures of natural disasters.
  32. I cannot lose weight. The shampoo I use says ‘for extra volume and body.’
  33. I am a smart person but do stupid things.
  34. Learn a lesson from your dog, kick some grass over the shit, and move on.
  35. There is no logic in why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
  36. Nothing to update on Facebook. So pretend that you are busy at a party.
  37. I tried to be awesome today; I was tired of being awesome yesterday.
  38. Nothing hurts more than you go to unfriend someone but find they have beaten you to it.
  39. I ever got a 4.0 GPA in college was my blood alcohol content only.
  40. Being nice to people is not being two-faced, but this is growing up.
  41. Instead of checking your checkbook, have a look on Facebook.
  42. Your intelligence is the common sense I have.
  43. Facebook must have the ‘no one cares about’ option too.
  44. I am a liar; trust me.
  45. Roses are red, and Facebook is blue. I have no mutual friends; then who are you?
  46. Facebook is like a prison because you write on its walls.
  47. Facebook must have an enemy list too.
  48. I add people only to increase the friend list.
  49. Facebook is the red carpet for girls who have no talent at all.
  50. I am quitting Facebook to face my book.
  51. You are a player! I am the coach here.
  52. Liking your own status is like appreciating yourself.
  53. Paul likes animals. The sweet and sour chicken.
  54. If taking a bath is bad for the environment, then I am doing a big favor.
  55. Single is not lonely, and the relationship is not to be happy.
  56. Mark Zuckerberg ruined our lives. That might not be a funny Facebook status for him.
  57. Who needs TV drama we have got Facebook.
  58. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Facebook Status
  1. Facebook suggested friends are the people I am trying to avoid intentionally.
  2. Don’t like me. I am not a Facebook status.
  3. Facebook has two types of people. The one who gets more likes, others are men.
  4. Say it on my face, not via Facebook status.
  5. Behind every successful status, there is ctrl+C and ctrl+V
  6. Where to find ‘DUH’ button on Facebook? Yes, it’s a funny Facebook status too.
  7. I keep my Facebook page public to make you jealous.
  8. Annoying is when two people start a conversation on your status.
  9. I failed my quiz but was successful in Face booking.
  10. Dance like no one will upload it on Facebook.
  11. The first five days after the weekend are tough.
  12. I don’t have goals it is for players. I am not one.
  13. You didn’t notice that that I used a word twice here.
  14. The real reason women live longer than men is that they don’t have wives.
  15. Food is a vital part of a balanced diet.
  16. If something is not right, try left.
  17. Everyone is fine until you see her on Twitter.
  18. Eyebrows speak louder than phrases.
  19. The girl is not hot, unlike the temperature.
  20. Without a candy crush, I am a kid with no candy.
  21. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is stupid.
  22. Went home at 2 with a 10 and woke up today at 10 with 2.
  23. Mythical being is an honest politician.
  24. Hey, there WhatsApp is using me.
  25. I live in fantasy so don’t tell me your reality.
  26. Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
  27. Mosquitoes are like family as they suck blood.
  28. Find it funny Facebook status. Save water have a beer.
  29. Smile while you still have teeth.
  30. Do not kiss behind the garden love is blind but neighbors are not.
  31. Friends are forever until they get married.
  32. C.L.A.S.S means (Come late and start sleeping)
  33. WTF is WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook?
  34. Google should be a woman. It knows everything.
  35. Upload funny Facebook statuses that at least mosquitoes like you.
  36. Say the letter M without letting your lips touch.
  37. I liked my neighbors until they had the password for Wi-Fi
  38. Nothing is illegal until someone catches you.
  39. F is my favorite word for Friday.
  40. Do not get fit; instead, pray to God to make your friends fat.
  41. I can communicate through my body and in English.
  42. If you cannot find the key to success, find the lock then.
  43. Don’t beat kids. They have guns now.
  44. Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.
  45. Life is short. Talk fast.
  46. Save paper. Don’t do your homework.
  47. Boys fall; I trip them.
  48. Why do stores have a lock on their doors, although they are open 24/7?
  49. The moment I find the key to success, someone alters the lock.
  50. Have lemons and squeeze them into your enemies’ eyes.
  51. Rule 1 I am right, but if I am wrong, read rule 1.
  52. Could not repair your brakes? Make your horns louder.
  53. I am not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
  54. The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.
  55. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
  56. Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’
  57. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  58. I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
  59. I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
  60. I’m not weird; I’m a limited edition.
  61. I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.
  62. Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
  63. I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in my way.
  64. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  65. If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
  66. My six-pack is protected by a layer of fat.
One more quote

Funny Facebook Quotes

These are some of the funny status quotes for Facebook that can impress you. Use our free AI FB status creator and select ‘quotes’, then give a topic to create unique and creative quotes.

  1. Chocolate, coffee, and men the richer, the better.
  2. No prejudice; I hate everyone equally.
  3. Dear Math, grow up and find your X yourself.
  4. Eat doughnut. Save vegetable.
  5. Life is a bitch. So I am
  6. Money does not make me happy, but shopping will.
  7. I am not lazy. Saving energy.
  8. Teachers name it cheating. Friends call it teamwork.
  9. Hi there! Using my brain now.
  10. Busy now but free forever.
  11. Google is in my mind, an anti-virus to install in my heart.
  12. People with high status don’t need status.
  13. If you fail to convince them, try to confuse them.
  14. Round is a shape. I am in shape, then.
  15. Eat, and exercise, but you will die anyhow.
  16. I speak in my mind. Don’t remember whatever I speak.
  17. If the magnet attracts, should I swallow it?
  18. The exercise I do is ‘running out of money.’
  19. The phone screen is brighter than my future.
  20. Crying? Grab a tissue, not Facebook.
  21. Does running away from problems count as a workout?
  22. Apple is controlling us; we have to buy breathe.
  23. Make love, not war, do both and marry today.
  24. In love with my bed, but my alarm clock is jealous.
  25. I wish to have someone that I can blame as my wife does.
  26. Don’t trust a person with only one Facebook picture.
  27. Whenever it’s a long story, it means they don’t want to tell you.
  28. On Facebook, you can talk to a wall.
  29. The world is excellent until you wake up.
  30. Love marriage is dancing in front of the snake and asking it to bite you.
  31. If you cannot beat them, arrange someone that can.
  32. Dammit, and I’m mad to spell the same way backward.
  33. Your attitude can hurt me; mine may even kill you.
  34. Not arguing but explaining why I am right.
  35. I am what you see. I don’t want your opinion, sorry.
  36. People laugh, as I am different. I laugh, as they are the same.
  37. Yes, I don’t care. Please try again.
  38. I am on a Mexican and Italian diet.
  39. I am me, and that is something you can never be.
  40. I am not a teaser. A reminder of what you cannot have.
  41. Never let your friends alone. Disturb them always.
  42. People are like clouds when they go day becomes beautiful.
  43. Marriage is when dating works well.
  44. Not humiliating you; just explaining who you are.
  45. I wish common sense to be more common.
  46. Take your nose back; I found it in my business.
  47. Vodka is for people who like to add fun to their lives.
  48. Karma, you missed the list of people that I have.
  49. To be successful in life, have these: backbone, wishbone, and a funny bone.
  50. Don’t break anyone’s heart; they have only one. Break their bones as they are 206
  51. Think like a proton and stay active.
  52. After Tuesday, the calendar screams WTF. 
  53. I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m correct.
  54. Insomnia is nature’s way of saying, How about you spend more time on Facebook?
  55. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
  56. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
  57. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?
  58. Relationship Status: In a complicated relationship with my Wi-Fi.
  59. I’m not lazy. I’m in energy-saving mode.
  60. Remember, if you can’t say something nice… make it funny.
  61. My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
  62. If you can’t laugh at your own problems, call me. I’ll laugh at them.
  63. I don’t snore. I dream I’m a motorcycle.
  64. The only time I ever hit the gym is when it’s in the sentence ‘I hit the gym with a chocolate bar.’
  65. I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman. I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.
  66. Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I look for my phone while I’m holding it.
  67. Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
  68. I speak fluent sarcasm and realness.
  69. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
  70. Diet day 1: I have removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.
  71. I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
  72. I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
  73. The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.
  74. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  75. Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying me.
  76. I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
  77. If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
Sysprobs Funny FB Status

Funny Facebook Posts with emojis

These are funny FB posts you can post on your FB wall. If you are not happy or you want a funny post for Facebook about a specific topic, use our AI free writer above.

  1. Just realized my life is like a Rubik’s Cube. Every time I try to get my stuff together, it just gets more confusing. 🤔🧩
  2. I’m on a new diet called ‘The Bank Account’. The less money I have, the less I eat. 💸🍔
  3. Why buy a book when you can join Facebook for free and read 500 different versions of “How to Live Your Life”? 📚😂
  4. If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later. 🏅⏰
  5. Just cleaned my room. Now I’m qualified to solve world peace. ✌️🌍
  6. My six-pack is very well protected by a layer of fat. Security is important, guys. 💪😅
  7. I’ve decided to add ‘Excel’ on my resume. I excel at pressing snooze on my alarm. ⏰😴
  8. If you can’t find your better half, try finding your better quarter. Lower expectations, higher happiness. 🥳💔
  9. My smartphone autocorrected ‘fun’ to ‘run’. Even it knows I need exercise. 🏃‍♂️😂
  10. I don’t always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows. 🏋️‍♀️📸
  11. I told my fridge I was going on a diet, now it makes fun of me every time I open it. 🍔😒
  12. They say money talks, but all mine ever says is ‘Goodbye’. 💰👋
  13. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was supposed to do. 🛌🌌
  14. Just spilled tea on my bed. It’s a hot mess, literally. 🍵😬
  15. If laziness was a job, I’d probably procrastinate that too. 🛋️😜
  16. The only running I do is running out of money. 🏃‍♂️💸
  17. Relationships are great until you realize your Netflix recommendations get all messed up. 📺💔
  18. My plants died, I guess I’m not a green person after all. 🌱🥀
  19. I’d make a joke about the sea, but I don’t want to be too shellfish. 🌊🐚
  20. I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing. 🐶➖➖
  21. I don’t need a calendar. My bills remind me what day it is. 📅💡
  22. I’m not a morning person or a night person. I think I’m a lunch person. 🥪🌞
  23. You know you’re an adult when you get excited about a new sponge at the kitchen sink. 🧽😄
  24. Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat. 🍫😅
  25. Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off. 🌍😉

If you are new to this social networking world, you need to know the importance of funny FB status and how it can help you get more likes, comments, and fame. In this regard, there are some rules you need to follow so you can begin with the FB status, make others know your presence, and write something interesting like jokes, wise quotations, and a lot more you can do.

If you are looking for funny status for Facebook that everyone will like, then we are sure our AI writer and published content would be useful.

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Dinesh is the founder of Sysprobs and written more than 400 articles. Enthusiast in Microsoft and cloud technologies with more than 15 years of IT experience.

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